The Hiatus Is Over

So since I've been gone for god knows how long, I thought I'd keep you guys up to date. I've been with Seamus for 3 months now and starting next week it's our 4 months together. Funny how my best friend could turn out to be someone so much more important to me than he already was before. That's all for now, I'll keep you updated.

Quick Update

I AM IN LOVE WITH SEAMUS

Rory And His Jacket

High school is getting better (I guess). The teachers are becoming bitchier but I think I can handle it. Hannah is keeping me company and Seamus and I still have a good friendship going on. Plus, Jenna-Louise is still the companion.

And the thing that made high school so much better is the fact that Rory and I hung out with each other. (I wanted to put eight thousand exclamation marks but I feel to lazy) We talked and he has this habit to wear a jacket over his uniform and he just looks absolutely adorable!

He just texted me one random night and said he was sorry because he didn't talk to me in the 3 weeks I've been in high school and obviously being the kind person I am I said it was fine even though it wasn't. He said he wanted to hang out the next day and we hung out and we've been walking with each other everyday since. I guess you could call it a school date.

Excuse You

So I saw Rory with his black jacket today. I love it when he wears his jacket over his uniform. Rory can you stop being so sexy?

ANYWAY I SAW THIS BITCH HANGING OUT WITH HIM AND THEN SHE HIT HIM IN THE ARM UM, EXCUSE YOU. Did he say you could hit him? Did I say you could hit him?

I used to hang out with Rory ALL the time and he'd always wait outside my class for me so we could hang out and when I got a rose for Valentine's Day he was like, "I'm gonna kill the person who gave you that". It's too bad I realized my feelings too late. What if he likes her? What if she likes him? How I wished he still had feelings for me. He used to like me okay. His friends told me and I believed them because he really acted like he did! I thought being in high school meant that maybe we can continue our friendship and if he really got over me then at least we could still be friends. But all he's doing is avoiding me. I just hope this gets worked out soon before I go to a different school.

And that bitch better stop hanging out with him because I will skin her alive. I mean, excuse you, you have a boyfriend. Why don't you go hit your boyfriend's arm you whore.

I'll Pay You To Kill Me

The first day of school is always exciting, exhilarating and scary. You don't know where to go, you don't know what to do, you don't want to look alone and you just want to find your friends. I prayed to God so hard last night that this day would be decent and bearable. I guess God didn't hear me.

I have to wake up at 5.45 a.m. and to make matters worst, I only slept for 3 hours. I don't know what I ate to make me feel so hyper but yeah. I got ready with the hugest smile on my face, awaiting the day I thought would be great. Haha, oh was I wrong.

First of all, I got into my van and I thought I'd be reaching school fucking early because the driver picked me up at 6.20 a.m.. That wasn't the case.  The driver picked up some other students and I made friends with like, one of them. She was really nice and she helped me get to my class. The other kids just pissed me off. We arrived at school at 8.30 a.m. which is absolutely ridiculous considering the early hour I had to FUCKING WAKE UP.

Anyway, I got to my class and the I met Hannah and I was so happy because we haven't seen each other in a month. We sat together and we just told jokes and we laughed and suddenly this ratchet ass teacher was like, "Why are you laughing? Is there anything funny? You know how it feels to be laughing as I'm turning my back?" Gurl, are you implying that we were talking about you? Seriously? She's my class teacher and I felt like stabbing her.

My assistant class teacher was kind of okay and they gave me this form to get my parents' signature but I left it under my desk and I am so going to die tomorrow. And I saw Rory! He got a haircut. A very very cute haircut if I may say so myself. Since he knows I like him, he's kind of avoiding me and just not holding eye contact or any sort of communication which sucks and my mom told me that I may be going to another school as soon as possible and I felt kind of sad. One, because I won't get to see Hannah; well, we can actually hang out. The reason we didn't hang out during the holidays was because I was away in The Land of British. And also, Rory. I really like Rory and I doubt I'd bump into him. But if it'll help with the van situation then, whatever. I got so car sick I almost threw up. It's not even funny.

I wanted to mention the fact that I won't be able to see Seamus anymore because we've really become close over the past 3 months. We're basically best friends. We talk to each other more than we ever do with our own friends! But I guess you could say our friendship is drifting off. We haven't talked to each other in a few days and today at school, that bitch was basically avoiding me. Fine.

And there's this 19 year old guy that likes me which I find kind of weird considering that I'm 15 and it's just weird. His name's Dhani. He knew me before he graduated and now he's helping out at the office answering calls and all. He is actually very sweet. Well, on the internet. I saw him today and he didn't so much as take a glance at me. Maybe because I told Seamus I only liked him as a friend and he reported it to Dhani and I guess he just kind of gave up. But it can't be true because Dhani has been chatting with me even since then and he's been so nice and so very sweet. I'm so confused. I didn't want to lead him on, give him hope and just take it away. That's enough to make anyone depressed. But it is kind of nice to get some attention from him. He's actually a decent guy. Cheesy, but sweet.

So, fuck high school, fuck the teachers there and I just hope I can get into that school my mom's talking about by mid of January. I cannot stand this place.

Jenna-Louise And Matt Ok

So I got into shipping Clara/Oswin with 11 and I got too intense and started reading all the fanfiction about them and now I ship Jenna-Louise with Matt. Oops.

And is her name Jenna or Jenna-Louise like Mary Jane and Mary Anne like they're connected and they have to be said with both names. I don't know but she has a pretty name.

Anyway, I ship them and I love them and that is all.

I Just Like Making Souffles

Christmas was.. okay, I guess. I went to The Land of British to visit my relatives and spent 2 weeks there which meant I spent Christmas there and let's just say that getting to watch the new Doctor Who episode was the best Christmas present of all.

Let's just talk about Jenna-Louise Coleman here for a second. She is so pretty and funny and a great actress that I cannot even fathom my love for her and especially her character. I guess it would take a lot of Whovians some time to adjust to Jenna and her character since they've been with Karen for a long time but just, I feel like I'm in love with Clara, y'know? Anyway, the ending to The Snowmen was perfect except for the part where Clara died and The Doctor was sad but then he got happy because he was gonna find another Clara Oswin Oswald in another time and she would be his companion and everything would be perfect. Plus, the kiss was just so cute ugh. But I hate that Moffat made Clara die I mean, I know it's kind of necessary to the plot but DAMN IT MOFFAT.

Anyway, Rory and I haven't talked in weeks and let's just say the thing between Oliver and I are over. We're done. Like, so done. And the thing is that, Seamus and I were never really friends for a long time. We've been friends for about 2 months and we're already so close. We're basically best friends. Yeah. We are.

School starts in a few days and I need a new school bag because my old one is just unacceptable okay I just need a new one and I feel like I don't have time to get it because SCHOOL STARTS IN 2 FUCKING DAYS. And I'm gonna be in high school which is really big. I don't know where to go or what to do and since I'm usually the first in my group of friends to arrive at school, I'm gonna be all alone. Which sucks. I have a feeling 2013 is gonna be bad. But if it does get bad, I'll just watch more of Doctor Who and Sherlock because Jenna is perfect and so is Benedict Cumbercatch.

I hope you guys had a better Christmas than I did and I hope you guys love Jenna and Clara as much as I do.

12/12/12

I DON'T FUCKING CARE.

Everyone's up here posting Facebook statuses about how it's the last repetitive date and just, stahp. So guise, calm your tits. This isn't tragic. No one's gonna die and I think everyone should just chill the fuck out.

Public Display

So I went out today (I know, I went out) and I swear to god, I saw Dean like, 15 feet away from me and he didn't see me which was good because I didn't want him to.

If you don't know who Dean is, back the fuck up because I think I mentioned him in my either my first, second or third post on this website. Don't worry, it's only like, 2 pages back.

Anyway, he was with this girl and his brother and I just panicked because I don't want him seeing me and coming over to talk to me. I would be obliged to actually talk to him and just, no.

Please note that I am not jealous. I broke up with him. Not the other way around. Plus, that was months ago. Even though I have to admit, he has moved on fast. Having 2 girlfriends after our break up. Um, okay Dean. Okay.

Anyway, I went shopping with my mom and I just bought a ton of things and I'm so happy. I practically have  a whole new wardrobe which makes me very happy because I love fashion, and the stuff in my closet has been there for almost 2 years and I just needed a change. And there was this gorgeous top at Forever 21 and you just should've seen how happy I was when I found my size. (S, because I'm 15 and I haven't stopped growing yet. Well, I hope I'm still growing. Otherwise, I would be freakishly small).

And then my mom and I went back home and we cleared out my closet to give some clothes to charity and I just feel so happy. You know what would make me more happy? IF EMMA DIDN'T TELL RORY SHIT ABOUT MY CRUSH ON HIM. That's right, I'm not over it yet. Still not talking to her. He's still not talking to me.

Anyway, I watched Rise Of The Guardians the other day and warning as a spoiler alert is ahead.

OH MY GOD I CRIED LIKE, 3 TIMES WHEN SANDMAN DIED IT WAS LIKE A PART OF ME DIED I HAD SO MANY FEELINGS AND I TOTALLY SHIP THE TOOTH FAIRY AND JACK FROST.

Okay, have a nice holiday guise. I'll be back.

Not Like The Other

I hate that I'm not photogenic. I have to take at least 15 pictures to get a picture of me that actually looks decent. My mom has the same problem. But my sister on the other hand..

She never has an embarrassing picture. She's so photogenic, it's annoying. She has so little imperfections compared to me. I have a flat nose, an ugly forehead and freckles just everywhere on my face. I have the ugliest feet ever and my voice is just annoying. I know you should love yourself for who you are but how do you love yourself when you look..ugly?

At least I know the fact that Rory used to like me. For me.

But getting back on the topic, it's hard. It really is. When you have the most beautiful sister and you're just there but you're not really there. It sucks. I'm not photogenic, I'm not pretty, I'm not what society wants.

And it's not a nice thing to carry on you.

Yay, New Profile Picture

As you all know, I have a new profile picture. It's of hair. That's right, hair. It's really pretty hair braided into a dutch braid with flowers in it. And sadly, it's not me. I saw that picture on tumblr and decided it was so pretty that I had to make it my profile picture.

And again, it's not me. It's just a random lady with her hair braided into a really pretty dutch braid wearing what seems to be a wedding dress. I don't know. It just looks like it. Anyways, hope you guys like it as much as I do.

Minds Change Like The Weather, Guise.

Well haven't I been on hiatus?

Screw Oliver. He's being such an ass! And he's only being an ass to me. Just, ugh.

I have a little crush on this guy named Rory. He's really sweet and funny and it's just a little crush. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I asked my friend, Emma, to talk to him for me. Y'know, butter me up. I know, I need a lot of help. No judging.

I got Emma's facebook password and I read her conversation with Rory and what she said just, infuriated me. She practically told him I had a crush on him! Like, what? She was like, "This guy she has a crush on likes Emma Stone and Spiderman and Batman or something." and he said that he likes all those things but he kept denying that I had a little crush on him. But Emma just went overboard. She told him the thing that he said to me that made me feel so happy, I jumped around the house because what he said was so sweet. So obviously, he knows it's him whom I like.

So now, Rory knows I have a crush on him and I feel like killing myself. If he tells anybody about this, my life will be ruined. Because Rory isn't the kind of guy girls like. He's funny and all but the girls at my school don't find him attractive. Well that's bullshit, he's plenty attractive. But I guess it's good for me. I mean, no competition. Anyways, if they find out, I will be teased to no end and just, I won't be able to live it down.

And it's not cool for a friend to tell your crush you like him, Emma. It really isn't.

Getting back to what Rory responded, he said that he didn't like me like that. Just as a friend. So I'm pretty sure I just got friendzoned. I think I'm the first female to get friendzoned.

He said that he's no good for me and I guess he was thinking about his crush on me earlier this year because, I don't know, it just looked like it from the chat. Yes, I can predict what people are thinking about by their replies. And he said he would make a bad boyfriend. Well, let's see how you do by trying it out on me!

I know it wasn't cool to login to Emma's facebook like that but I had to know what she said. I really did! And now that I know, I can begin my six degrees of separation (but seriously though, have you guys heard that song? It is perfection. It's by the script. Another song that I can relate to is 'The Moment I Knew' by Taylor Swift. And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band by The Beatles. We're getting off topic now. Well, at least I am).
To quote Avatar Roku (because I am ridiculously in love with A:tla):
When love is real, it finds a way.
And I totally believe that. Can you believe it? A cartoon show gives better advice than most shows nowadays. But it's true. At least I think it is.

So now, I'm giving Emma the silent treatment because she was an ass but she doesn't know that. But I'll forgive her one day. Just not today. Because I'm too busy being sad about Rory. And the thing is, he used to have a crush on me. But I just thought of him as a friend that time. And now I like him. But he doesn't like me. And now I hate myself. And now Oliver doesn't know shit about this. But we're drifting away and it's like he doesn't know I exist anymore. He's not talking or texting or calling like he did the last time.

Well, Rory and I will be in the same school next year because I'll be in high school and he's already in high school (he's 2 years my senior, guise) so we'll basically see each other everyday and I'm afraid I'll like him even more and mess up my plan on moving on (not that I actually have a plan. But I will have a plan. Soon) because he has the cutest eyes ever and his new haircut is just so cute and just, ugh. He's really funny too and he's so goddamned sweet and he's such a gentleman and I'm gonna stop gushing over him before I explode.

And Oliver, well, screw him. We were never really together anyway and now he's ignoring me and giving me the cold shoulder and just basically avoiding me. And I didn't do shit. Anyway, Oliver brought this on himself and now Rory is my little crush.

Part 2 Review

Breaking Dawn part 2 was actually quite satisfying. I didn't think it would be bearable, but it was. I have to admit, it was actually kind of funny.

I still hate Twilight though.

I would actually recommend it if you have nothing else to watch and wanna see vampires rip other vampires' heads off. Needless to say, Twilight filled my violence void.

And can we just take a moment to realize that the guy who can control the elements (forgive me, I forgot his name) is basically the avatar? And the Beatles preference was just perfect.

That's it for this topic. Watch Twilight. It's bearable. Fighting scenes were good. And Robert Pattinson is in it. That should be enough of a reason to watch Twilight.

The Shittiest Saga Finally Ends

Finally, after 4 years of  'Edward only left because he wanted to protect you, Bella!' and 'Back off, Jacob.', the fucking Twilight saga finally ends. The thing that pisses me off is that magazines are marking it as 'the end of an era'. Bitch, sit the fuck down.

The Harry Potter films were in for 10 years. That's a lot compared to Twishit. A lot of people are probably gonna be like, 'If you hate Twilight so much, why do you watch it?'. It's one of those things that you just wanna make fun of because it is just so fucking bad and you wanna see how bad it progresses from the first film to the last. I'm still suffering from Post Potter depression. Hell, I'm also suffering from Post Reichenbach Fall depression. But anyways, Harry Potter made a bigger impact on everyone's lives than Twilight. Harry Potter taught us all about friendship and to never give up. Twilight is about laying down on the ground after your vampire boyfriend dumps you for your own sake. Just.

And now, I am going to list all the things that are more depressing than the end of Twilight.
-The Doctor regenerating.
-Donna's farewell with the Doctor.
-Rory and Amy leaving the Doctor.
-Rose's farewell with the Doctor.
-Hell, everyone's farewell with the Doctor.
-Harry Potter.
-Seeing the Doctor sad.
-Rory waiting for Amy for 2000 years to make sure she's safe.
-Toph and Sokka not becoming canon.
-Sherlock faking his suicide to keep Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade and John safe.

Mostly everything is more depressing than the end of Twilight. Ugh, finally.

In other news, CHRISTMAS IS COMING A;OIFRJAP;OJFG  [POGI.gfdsai;/o;rpASLDKDFNS;LK

The Girl Who Didn't Make Sense

Everyone came back from the trip a few weeks ago and since then, it's been mighty awkward between Oliver and I. The thing is, Oliver can be an ass at times. Which is freaking annoying. But I put up with it. Because I am the greatest person you will ever meet.

His 'being an ass' characteristics are:
; not starting the conversation first.
I don't like starting conversations. Oliver of all fucking people should know. What part of hating everyone on this goddamned planet do you not understand? I want to talk to him. But I can't. Because I'm socially awkward. But if I don't talk to him there wouldn't be a conversation to start with. And I want a conversation. With Oliver, not anyone else.

; being an ass on the internet.
He is the funniest person you will most probably ever meet. But it's a different story on the internet. People on the internet expect you to be funny and full of life and just plain fucking awesome. But he's not. It's like he's dead on the internet. Which is annoying. He literally doesn't do anything there. It's like he's not in the game he's just there, y'know? And it bothers me. Because I am an exceptionally pleasant person on the internet because no one knows me.

; not being interested in my interests
Which is the fucking worse. I get interested or at least pretend to be on whatever shit he likes and thinks is cool. I told him to watch Sherlock because it is an insane fandom and once you get into it, it's like family. But he said and I quote, 'It's too long.'. GURL SIT DOWN. Sherlock is probably the best thing you could ever come across (other than Supernatural and Doctor Who. Superwholock fandom for the win). 

It just sucks. But I still like him. I have issues.

But so does he.

Obama Won, You Peasants

The day before the election, I prayed for Obama to win. Yes, I prayed. Because Obama is my best friend even thought he doesn't know it. And then today, when I found out the perfect person that is Barack Obama won the election, I freaked.

Even though I don't live in America and all, I'm just really happy, okay? And when I found out on twitter, my inner fangirl for Obama just came out and I just ran around my house screaming. I found out at about 4 p.m. today and I called my mom who told me she didn't really care because we don't live in America. Well, excuse you. Anyway, Obama is just so awesome! I hope he can make the changes he promised come true! 

GO BARACK OBAMA! 

And to be frank, I seriously wonder what Romney is doing right now. 

Cat Videos

Seamus and I were chatting on Facebook and we were talking about dogs because dogs are adorable. Then, he sent me a link to a cat video. I watched it and he sent me a few more. One of it being a guy celebrating his cat's birthday. I told him how manly it was to be watching cat videos and he said this,

(Partial transcript reads as follows)

Seamus: REAL MEN WATCH VIDEOS OF CATS.
Me: Are you sure?
Seamus: AND DOGS. DOGS ARE COOLER.
Me: Duh.

Then we talked about how chill turtles are and then he asked me to google image photos of kittens. I have to admit, no matter how much I hate cats, kittens are pretty darn cute.

Then we talked about Oliver and Hanna and now we're back to the subject of cats.

The Awkward Confrontation

When I was on Facebook today, I saw that Oliver was online. I didn't wanna start the conversation first because then he'd think I'm really clingy which is not what a lot of boys like. Particularly Oliver. Trust me. I've been in love with that boy for 2 years. Anyway, I waited for almost an hour for him to chat talk with me but, no luck. I screwed everything and gathered up my Gryffindor courage to talk to him. I started the conversation with, "Did Ron really read your texts?"

I have a weird way with starting conversations. No judging.

(Partial transcript reads as follows)

Me: Did Ron really read your texts?
Oliver: No. Why?
Me: He told me yesterday when Seamus called.
Oliver: He didn't. I left my phone on the bus. No one can read it now.
Me: The bus driver can.

Over my failed attempt to cheer him up over the loss of his phone, I discovered that Oliver didn't give a shit about Ron and just goes with the flow. "It's what anyone who's lazy would do." He said.

We spent the rest of the conversation chatting on facebook talking about what we were doing, trying to keep the conversation alive when one of his questions just made me think of him as a peasant.

He asked me if I liked Seamus and "I'm not jealous or anything" written in brackets. I told him that Seamus was just my friend and the conversation just kind of died down there. So that's basically how our conversations on facebook goes. A "what are you doing now" and a "Haha, you're weird" and the conversation kind of just.. ends. But despite that, our feelings for each other are different than our conversations. Although our conversations die down a little over time, our feelings for each other never do.

God, that was intense. Let me say something to ease the tension.

People are peasants. And Google should let me finish my sentence without interrupting me. Google thinks it knows me. BUT IT DOESN'T.

So Called 'Special Someone'

I finally got the call Seamus and Mike were talking about at around 10 p.m. When my phone rang, I turned into Usain Bolt and ran to get my phone. The caller ID said it was Seamus so I picked it up, hoping for the best. But it wasn't Seamus on the line. It was a guy who was part of their 'gang'. His name is Ron. He's kind of an ass.

Anyway, he told me in his annoying ass voice that he read the texts between me and Oliver. I immediately panicked. I said a lot of crap to Oliver that I didn't want anyone else to know about. But being the cool person I'd like to think I am, I kept my mojo and asked him what he was talking about.

(Partial transcript reads as follows)

Ron: I read Oliver's text messages and I see that there's a lot of messages between you two.
Me: What are you talking about?
Seamus: Ron, give me the phone.
Me: What's happening?
Seamus: Wait, let me get Oliver. *screams Oliver's name*
Oliver: WHAT?
Seamus: IT'S OSWIN.

You see, at this point, everyone in the background was clapping and cheering which really annoyed me. Who invented clapping anyway? Please note that when Oliver was on the phone with me, everyone started whistling and clapping even more which was utterly unnecessary and uncomfortable.

Oliver: Hello?
Me: Hey.
Oliver: Yes? Seamus told me you wanted to talk me?
Me: Well, Seamus told me you wanted to talk to me.
Oliver: Wait, let me talk to him. WHAT THE HELL SEAMUS.
Seamus: Hello? Sorry 'bout that.
Me: I'm gonna hang up now.
Seamus: Okay.

Seamus texted me after the call saying Oliver wanted to tell me something. I asked him why he didn't tell me and he said he didn't know. Guess he was just being a wuss. Apparently, calling me was the only way to get Oliver to talk to me.

So, that was the phone call they talked about. How this 'special person' was going to talk to me. Please, we talked for a milisecond before he passed the phone on to Seamus. He also told me the girlfriend thing was just a lie. You think I didn't know? I was just being paranoid before the call and the girlfriend thing fit perfectly in my theory. But I have to admit, I felt pretty relieved that Oliver didn't have a girlfriend after all. But there's still one more thing that's bugging me.

Does Oliver seriously like me? Or was saying he did just a spur in the moment thing.

Ugh, hormones and paranoia do not fit.

Stahp

The 'special someone' still hasn't called. But I'll keep you posted.

So, my sister is studying phsycology in Holland and a lot of people have asked me
"Oswin, why don't you miss your sister? You never ever talk about her! Do you even miss her at all?"

Well, you see, it's kind of hard to miss someone when your goddamned cousin and mother talk about her all day. To be honest, I was kind of happy when she left. I don't want to sound selfish and all. Well, too late I already do sound selfish. Anyway, it's hard because your parents Skype with her everyday and the only thing they talk at the dinner table is how independent she's being and how she's acing all her tests. Um, ever think about me?

"Wow, she scored 4/5 for her test! That's like, 90%!" No, dumbass, that's 80%. Stop bragging about your other daughter that's practically half way around the world when your other daughter is sitting right next to you. Plus, there's only 5 questions. And you're getting physched that she managed to answer 4 questions correctly?

Sure, I get that you're worried about her and that you just want her to be safe but I exist too. It'd be nice if you paid attention to me sometime. It'd also be nice if you can talk about something other than her and maybe spend some time with me.

How many years until I get to move out again?